


Magnet and Steel (or, How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Just Feel It)

by Bluehaven4220



Category: due South
Genre: Falling In Love, Feelings, Living in the North, M/M, Post-Series, Tripping over themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-11 23:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluehaven4220/pseuds/Bluehaven4220
Summary: If we’re being honest, I admitted my feelings to myself a long time ago. I didn’t come back up here just because Benton Fraser asked me to, and, judging from that hug he gave me, he didn’t ask me just for the sake of asking.





	Magnet and Steel (or, How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Just Feel It)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jiokra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiokra/gifts).



> All hail my fabulous beta mific! Your notes and suggestions made this story what it is. I couldn't have done it without your help. Thank you so much!
> 
> I had Matthew Sweet's cover of Magnet and Steel in my head as I wrote this (and listened to it over and over). I felt it just fit this story perfectly, hence the title. I suggest listening to both the original by Walter Egan and the cover while you read.

This bed was the warmest thing I’d slept on in over three months. The pillows were big and fluffy, the mattress felt amazing on my back and the comforters were stuffed with something light and soft. I felt like I was seven years old again and visiting my grandma and grandpa for the weekend. They had comforters like this in the guest room, and I’d been able to fall asleep in minutes after they'd tucked me in.

And now, I couldn't sleep at all.

“Fraser?”

“Hmm mmm?” He was in the other bed facing me, his eyes closed. And no wonder – we’d been going full out today to get back to civilization after finding out about Franklin and his crew.

It turned out that there weren’t any actual remains to be found. We’d gone as far as we could, even reaching Queen Maud Gulf, where the ships and crew were last seen before Fraser and I had decided to put an end to it. We couldn’t go any further, thanks to the melting snow. As soon as we’d realized that the only logical thing that could have happened was that the ships sank, just like in the Inuit legends that everyone except Fraser ignored, we’d turned the sled around.      

“You disappointed?”

Fraser groaned and stretched, opening his eyes and propping himself up on his elbow to look at me. “Not at all, Ray. Why should I be disappointed?”

“About finding Franklin's expedition. I mean, we’re all done. The Quest is over.” I settled on that explanation, even though there was so much more I wanted to say about something else entirely. About The Thing That We Were Avoiding. Anyway, we’d decided not to disturb the site or take pictures. It just didn’t seem right. People had _died_ there, it was their final resting place. So we’d just looked out over the water instead, told their ghosts we knew where they were, and then, as I said, started making our way back.

Now here Fraser and I were in a warm hotel room back in Tuktoyaktuk near the airport, having shaved and showered for the first time in over… well, let’s say a long time. The woman at the check-in desk didn’t seem the least bit concerned about how gross we probably looked and smelled. She’d handed us our room key after showing us where to bed down the dogs and let us get on with our business.

“No, not at all,” he insisted. “The crew have been missing for over a hundred years, Ray. I’m sure they’d be glad to know someone finally found out what happened to them and left them to rest where they are.”

“But what about…”

“I sincerely doubt there’s any record of family who could be contacted,” Fraser cut me off in the most Mountie-like way possible, which was still very unlike him. “In fact, Sir John’s wife Eleanor kept trying to find out what happened to him for years after he went missing. We could think of this as a form of closure for them.”

Yeah, that was all well and good, but now that we’d found the expedition and gotten closure for Franklin’s wife and whoever else, there was still a bunch of stuff between us that wasn't closed down at all.

I’d run into the bathroom as soon as we got into the room and taken the longest and hottest shower known to man. I didn’t even feel remotely human until I’d gotten into warm pajamas and had a shave. Seeing my face without a beard felt weird, almost like I’d forgotten what it was like to _not_ have one. As soon as I was out of the bathroom I headed straight for the bed closest to the window. I barely even said anything to Fraser, who had simply dropped his pack in the corner of the room and waited his turn.

I was already asleep by the time Fraser finished in the bathroom and had just woken up now when Fraser was ready for bed, so we were having this weird and wonderful conversation in the dark, giving us both some cover.

“You know, Ray, I’ve been thinking…”

“What a surprise.”

I swear I could almost see him glaring at me.

“Would you ever consider…” It sounded as though the words were sticking in his throat, like he didn’t know if he should ask me this One Particular Question that had to do with The Thing We Were Avoiding.

“Consider what?”

“Would you consider … staying?”

I must’ve had eyes like an owl after he asked that. I’d kinda _thought_ about it, about how I’d been feeling a little burned out on police work, even with Fraser as my unofficial partner. Maybe if I handed in my two weeks, and packed up all my stuff, and came up here again because I’d fallen in love, then yeah, I’d stay.

I told him so. Well, everything except the falling in love part.       

ooOoo

Two months after I got back to Chicago on a plane and set about doing all the necessary things to make a huge change, I’d done it. I really had gone and packed up all my stuff and was driving this bulky, old-time pickup all the way to Freezerland just because he asked me to. It took me less than a minute to say yes, and now three weeks later here I was, only just crossing into the Territories from some foggy little settlement called Uranium City in Saskatchewan. I didn’t even know what day it was anymore.  

Yeah, despite everyone telling me what a stupid idea it was and asking who I was and what had I done with the _real_ Ray Kowalski, I packed the Goat into storage and bought the pickup with some of my savings. It was nothing fancy, but it ran okay. I'd been motoring along at some speed (I ain't so good at math. Fraser once said something about multiplying by eight-fifths or something to get kilometers from miles, but what do I know?) and I was still over seven hundred miles away from Norman Wells. Even then I'd have to drive at least a half hour out to Fraser’s cabin.

Even so, thanks to car phones and whoever the genius was who invented them, I was able to call him at the detachment and let him know I was still on my way. He seemed relieved, and maybe a bit hesitant? Almost like he’d been thinking it over and had maybe figured it hadn’t been such a good idea, and all he wanted to do about it was crawl in a hole?

Well, too late for that now, Benton buddy. I wasn't driving however long I’d been driving just for him to get scared and decide that hmm, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Nope. Definitely not cool. Because we both knew it wasn't a good idea. Absolutely not. What idiot packed up their whole life and moved to a different country on a whim?

 _He_ did, but that wasn't on a whim. The Mounties exiled him to Chicago because he exposed the “killer of his father” as a cop and turned him in. No cop shop likes when you turn in one of your own. When I started the Ray Vecchio undercover gig, I found out Vecchio was Fraser’s first real partner- no one else’d put up with him for long. And when I’d shown up in Vecchio’s place after Fraser had come back from vacation, the guy was intent on proving that I was Not Ray Vecchio.

Anyone with a brain knew I wasn’t actually Vecchio, but in the end, we worked things out and life went on as it should have. Until Vecchio came back from his undercover mobster shtick and everything shifted into high gear. It involved Fraser pushing me out of a plane to save my life and then climbing up a damn mountain and sliding back down the other side, and somehow ending up stopping a nuclear submarine. And after that, we got loaded up with all our supplies and set out on the Quest.

And now, things were shifting again. I’d actually handed in my badge and was planning to start my life over in Norman Wells. I was going to move in with Fraser and get a job doing something other than police work and… then I didn’t know what.

By the time I got to Norman Wells I’d been driving for way too long and had to stop and get gas. I filled up the tank, which cost me an arm and a leg, and then heard my stomach rumbling. Attached to the gas station was a diner called Frieda’s. It looked nice enough, and it was pretty full – always a good sign. The air around the place smelled crisp and clean, too. Even better.

ooOoo

The overhead bell dinged as I opened the door. The woman who greeted me looked to be about my mom’s age, except she had gone completely grey. I sat down and a cup of coffee was set down in front of me and a menu put in my hands before I’d even said hello.  

I was just about to order when the overhead bell dinged again, and I heard footsteps. It was like I knew the sound of those steps, but as far as I knew, Fraser was waiting for me at the house. I was still at least a half an hour away from Norman Wells and I didn't want to delay, but if I didn’t get at least _some_ food in my stomach I’d be likely to pass out.

The woman who'd handed me the menu turned. “Benton Fraser, as I live and breathe!” she said. “I haven’t seen you in _weeks._ ”

I was almost too chicken to turn around in my chair.

“Hello, Frieda,” I heard the smile in his voice as he greeted her. “I’ve got about an hour before my friend Ray gets into town so I thought I’d come in and grab a few supper specials to go, if that’s alright.”

Okay, now I _had_ to turn around. “Hi, Fraser.”

Fraser’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. He nearly pushed Frieda out of the way, hauled me to my feet, and hugged me so tightly I coughed, trying to get enough air. I couldn’t help myself; I was squeezing him just as tight.

When we finally let each other go, he put his hands on my shoulders and looked me up and down, as though he hadn’t seen me in forever and a day, even though it’d only been two months.

“It’s good to see you, Ray,” he said as we sat back down at the table where I'd hastily abandoned my coffee and menu. It was kind of eerie to hear him repeat the exact same words he’d said when Vecchio came back from Vegas. But this time, the tone was different. He didn’t sound like a man who was happy his friend was back from a dangerous undercover job and alive, instead he sounded…

Oh. I knew that voice. But there was no way that could be a thing. Fraser and I were just friends.

Right. Sure. And pigs had learned to fly.

Frieda brought us each a plate of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans – I don’t even remember ordering but I was so hungry she could have brought me blubber and lichen and I would’ve eaten it. I stared across the table at my best friend. All the times we’d shared a sleeping bag for warmth, or traded off extra pairs of socks, hell, we'd even shared breath with the buddy breathing on the Henry Anderson.

“Allen, Ray.”

“Huh?” Real smooth. I must've been thinking out loud. “Allen who?”

“You said Henry Anderson. I assumed you meant the Henry Allen.” Fraser speared a few green beans and pushed them around his plate methodically. “And since you brought it up–”

“I didn’t mean to bring it up,” I said quickly. “I was just thinking out loud.”

“About what, Ray?” Fraser brought the fork with the green beans to his mouth. Geez, how could the man make _chewing_ look good?  

“Just stuff, I guess.” I shrugged, cutting into my meatloaf.

Fraser had always been able to look right through me, even if he wouldn’t call me on it out loud. I wondered if he'd guessed why I’d said yes to coming back up north to stay. When I’d first met him, I’d joked that if I left the city I came down with a skin condition, but we both knew that was just me cracking wise about being a city boy. I was fine in the wilderness if I had Fraser with me. In fact, I'd admitted how I felt to myself a long time ago. I didn’t come up here just because he asked me to, and judging by that hug he gave me, he didn’t ask me just for the sake of asking.

“I can see you’re quite exhausted, Ray.” Fraser leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, the fork and knife on his plate lying neatly side by side, letting Frieda know he’d finished. Almost everyone else had finished as well, and judging from the way the cash register was ringing, it was getting close to the end of the night. “We can get the rest of your dinner boxed up if you like?”

“Sounds good,” I said, as Fraser reached for his wallet.

Frieda was back at the table in half a minute with a takeaway box. “Put that away, Benton. You know your money’s no good here.”

“Frieda, I insist…”

“No,” she said forcefully, “and next time you offer, you’re eating outside with the dogs. After what you did to help Ellie, I won’t have you paying for your supper. You as well.” She pointed at me. “Your money's no good here either. Any friend of Benton Fraser’s is a friend of mine.”

Fraser put his wallet back in his pocket, flushing red as Frieda walked back toward the kitchen.

I leaned forward. “What's she talking about, Fraser? Who’s Ellie?”

“Ellie Rhodes. She’s Frieda’s granddaughter,” he said, and already I could tell there was a long story behind it. “She’s six years old, and, as six-year-olds often do, she decided she wanted to go on an adventure. Well, she prepared herself as best she could, being six…” Fraser got up and grabbed his coat and hat, leaving a twenty on the table. “I’ll tell you the rest later. If Frieda won’t take money for the food, I can at least make a donation to Ellie’s Adventure Fund.”

“She has an Adventure Fund?” I grabbed my jacket and my takeaway box and followed him out to the parking lot. He’d parked right beside me.

“That she does,” he answered. “Are you okay to drive the rest of the way? If not, I can leave my truck here and we can come back in the morning and pick it up.”

As soon as he said it, it was like my body had said, “Nope, no more. You ain’t driving any more tonight.” Sighing, I tossed Fraser my keys and, with a lot of effort, climbed into the passenger side of my own truck. I think I was asleep before we’d even backed out of the parking lot.

I don’t even know how long it took us to get back to Fraser’s place. I climbed out and grabbed my bag with all my clothes in it and followed him inside the house. Same as in Chicago, he didn’t lock his front door. Not that he really needed to, with Dief as a guard. Speaking of Dief, something didn’t seem right. Fur face didn’t come charging at me as soon as I came in.

That should have been my first clue that something wasn’t quite right. Something was off, and I think it had something to do with That Thing We Were _Still_ Avoiding.

“Hey, uh, where’s Dief?”

“Out and about somewhere, I’m sure.”

That didn’t sound like Fraser at all. Normally he’d tell me Dief was off somewhere with another husky he’d fallen in lust with and was ‘sowing his wild oats’ or something.

“Hey, uh, Ben?”

He blinked and turned around, and I realized it was the first time I’d ever actually used his first name. Before now I’d always called him Fraser. “Yes, Ray?”

“You gonna finish telling me the story about Ellie’s adventure?” I sat down on the couch and tried very hard not to fall asleep. Anything to keep us both awake long enough to at least settle in for the night.

“Just as soon as I put your bag in the guest room,” he said, picking up the bag I’d left in the front hall and carrying it back toward the bedrooms.

Hang on, since when did Fraser have a guest room? I’d known that he’d bought this place just after I’d gone back to Chicago, but I always pictured him as a man with pretty simple tastes. You know, a one room cabin with a stove and a bed, and maybe a couch for when people came to visit. I knew from when we were working together that not many people came to visit him. Well, that was mostly because he lived in his office, but before that even if they visited, they never stayed long.

And, tired as I was, it suddenly all made sense.

If I understood things right, Fraser didn’t want to get close to me because any time he got close to _anyone_ , they left, and he had to pick up the pieces on his own, which I know isn’t easy. I know Fraser’s dad left him with his grandparents after his mom died, and barely saw him. I know a little about that case with what’s-her-name, the one Fraser won’t mention, and what Vecchio had to do to save Fraser from himself. Even Vecchio leaving as he did, well that probably cemented the thought in Fraser’s head: _Everybody Leaves._

Is _that_ why Fraser'd asked me if I'd consider staying? And if it was, why hadn't he just _said_ so? I wouldn’t have left him alone without an answer. Maybe he thought I’d say no outright without even thinking about it. Then when I did the exact opposite he didn’t know what to do or say, and now I was here, he was worried I was going to come to my senses, tell him what a bad idea this was, and head back to Chicago.

I couldn’t go back, and I wouldn’t leave him here alone.

I got up and followed him back toward the spare bedroom. Fraser was sitting on the bed, his hands folded in his lap, his head hanging. He looked so young right now, especially since he was wearing jeans and that plaid flannel over a t-shirt. He looked as though he was trying to keep himself calm, and failing miserably.

“Hey…” I put my hand on his back and sat down. I could tell the bed was really comfortable just by sitting on it. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he answered, keeping his head down, concentrating on a particular spot on the floor that he seemed to find fascinating. “I’m just… I’m really happy that you’re here, Ray.”

“Are you?” It wasn't until I was actually down on my knees in front of him that I realized I’d moved and I had my hands on his thighs, trying to get him to look at me. “Because you look like you wanna jump out of your skin and run.”

“What makes you think that?” He still wasn't really looking at me, he was looking past me at a spot on the wall.

“I’m just as freaked out as you are,” I told him, taking a firm hold of his chin in my hand and making him look me in the eyes. Okay now, this was _definitely_ it. We were taking care of this Thing We Were Avoiding. “You know better than anybody it’s not easy to pack up your entire life and start all over in a new country.”

He managed to smile.

“You did it a few years ago.” I still had a hold of his chin. I needed to make sure he heard me, make sure he understood what I was saying. “Now it’s my turn. And I think you know as well as I do that I’m not up here just because you asked me to stay.” I could feel my own body start to shake as I got ready to tell him The Thing. “I’m up here because I love you, Benton Fraser.”

His eyes went wide, as though he couldn't believe what I just said.

“I love you too,” he said, so quickly it sounded garbled.

I let go of his chin, staring at him so intently he couldn't look away. “Was it that hard to say?” I knew it was, but I wanted to hear it from him.

“You have no idea.”

But I did. I got up and leaned forward, forcing him backward until he was lying on the bed. Then I captured his mouth quickly, surprising us both. It wasn't awkward. It was just… right. It felt right. Like I’d been waiting months or maybe years too long to kiss this man and now that I had, I wasn't letting him go.

I did it again, kissing him for all I was worth. He raised his hand and pushed me back, just enough that he could sit up, toe his boots off and turn himself so he was lying on top of the blankets, head on the pillow. His mouth was swollen, his eyes had gone dark, and, once he raised his arms up and tucked them behind his head, his t-shirt rising up to show a little bit of skin, he looked like all those dreams I’d ever had that I don’t tell anyone about. Take all my Steve McQueen fantasies and ramp ’em up by a million or two – and aside from the t-shirt, Ben was still all buttoned up. Imagine what he looked like naked…

As much as I wanted this, to show him I wasn't leaving and that I wanted him so bad it hurt, I didn’t have the strength. I was so tired it was all I could do to crawl into the bed beside Ben and sleep. So that’s what I did.

ooOoo

The next morning, I woke up when Ben did, and, surprisingly, it wasn't at stupid early o’clock. I wasn't used to this bed, comfortable as it was, so I felt every move he made. The guy slept like a statue, but once he was sitting up with his back to me, rubbing the back of his neck, I could tell by his body language he wasn't sure what to make of last night.

Truth be told, I didn't know either after what we said to each other, finally talking about The Thing We’d Been Avoiding and then actually doing something about it. It was out in the open now, and it left my head spinning a thousand ways from Sunday. We’d both felt brave enough to tell each other how we felt, but what happens when courage suddenly abandons you?

I don’t know if it was courage or just plain need that made me sit up and touch Ben’s shoulder, but he seemed to interpret it like I did. He turned to look at me, the look on his face pure astonishment, like he couldn’t believe I was still there beside him.

I kissed him good morning. “You don’t have to worry,” I said. “I’m still here.”

He let out a breath I don’t think he realized he’d been holding, and smiled at me, that crooked tooth showing just slightly. “I love you, Ray Kowalski.” He kissed me this time, full of heat, like he wanted to thank me but didn’t know how.

“I love you too,” I answered, and I realized I had to take the lead. “What do you say we get up and have some breakfast?” He’d told me time and time again that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, but I hadn’t understood just how important it was until we’d started on the Quest. Moving and traveling as much as we did out in the snow used up a lot of energy, and if you didn’t eat, you wouldn’t survive. I’d kept up the habit of eating in the morning because I knew that in order to live in Freezerland I’d have to eat constantly, especially if I was going to be working and moving around a lot.

He looked at me like I’d just offered him the moon. We both got up went out to the kitchen, where Ben started on coffee for both of us. Maybe when we were both more awake I’d ask him about Ellie Rhodes again. He didn’t get a chance to finish the story before we both fell asleep last night.

“There’s oatmeal, or I could do omelets if you like,” Ben offered as he brought two cups of coffee to the table, along with milk and sugar.

We’d had oatmeal and bannock almost every morning while on the Quest, so I opted for omelets.

“Put me to work, Ben.” I’d always hated sitting for long periods of time. Plus, even though I wasn’t very good at it, I liked cooking. Simple stuff, but at least I’d gotten my skill level up to “keep self alive” rather than “rely on pizza delivery and coffee with chocolate in it to keep self alive”.

He tossed me a green pepper and a tomato (rarities up here and stupid expensive), and I got to chopping. The kitchen was fairly small, just enough room for the two of us to stand but if either of us needed to turn around we were bumping into each other, and those little touches were enough to send electric shocks through my body. Whenever that happened we’d stare at each other for a few seconds, then clear our throats and get back to what we’d been doing.

We sat down to breakfast. Omelets with ham, cheese, green peppers, and tomatoes had never tasted so good, but we could hardly look each other in the eye. It was right up there with the most awkward morning- after breakfasts I’d ever had. Truth was, though, I think we needed the silence to sort through our own thoughts. Even though courage had led us both to this point, it was down to us to keep the momentum going.

“Hey…” the word stuck in my throat, as though the omelet had transformed itself into a glob of peanut butter. I reached over and took Ben’s hand. “You know you don’t have to worry, right?”

“Worry?” He took a gulp of coffee and grimaced as it went down. “Why should I be worried?”

“You know I’m not going to disappear one morning and be gone before you wake up, right?”

“I understand that, Ray–”

“Do you?” I interrupted. “Because the look in your eyes says different.”

“What look?” No Mountie mask now, which was what I’d been waiting for.  

“The look that says ‘if I blink I’ll wake up and it’s all a dream.’” I scooted my chair closer to him and pinched the fleshy part of his arm as proof, smiling when he jumped. “There. See? You felt that. You’re not dreaming.”

He took a deep breath, as though he might break a spell that'd been cast on the house. “I…” he started. “I’m sorry, Ray. I suppose I’m just–”

“Afraid,” I interrupted him again.

“Unsure.”

“Scared.”

“Anxious.”

“Terrified.”

He stopped. “Terrified,” he agreed, barely audible.

At any other point when we argued like this, I would have thanked him. But this time, when he looked at me I saw real fear in his face.

I did the only thing I could at that point.

“Hey, come here,” I closed the distance between us and kissed him hard. “Listen to me carefully, Benton Fraser.” I was suddenly sure the only way he was going to hear me was if I used his full name.

When he looked at me, it was clear I had his full attention. His eyes were completely focused on me. On my mouth in particular.

“I did _not_ pack up my life in Chicago and drive over two thousand miles just to suddenly decide I didn’t want to be here.” I hoped I didn't sound too desperate. “I did _not_ give my pet turtle to Frannie, ask her to sell anything that didn’t fit in the back of my truck and tell her to keep the money just so I could come up here and decide I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Ray…” he rasped.

“I’m not done.” I brought my lips to his ear and licked the outer shell, feeling him shiver. “I did _not_ drive up here simply because you asked me to.” I sat back in my chair and studied his face which had changed from fear to confusion. I laid my hand on his cheek and smiled. “I drove up here because I realized that you, Benton Fraser, are everything to me.”

Confusion turned to shock. It was like he’d never heard such a thing before. “Ray, I…”

I put a finger on his mouth. “If you’re having trouble understanding me, read my lips, 'cause I know you know how to…”

He blinked at me.

“I’m just as terrified as you are, if not more,” I told him. “I’ve still got to unpack and find a place for my things in this house, I’ve got to make sure the engine on my truck can handle the freezing temperatures up here, _and_ on top of that, I’ve got to find a job. It’s a big risk starting over at my age, but I’m going to do it, because you and me, we’re partners. We’re buddies.” I moved my finger and kissed him again. _I won’t leave you, Benton Fraser._

He ran his tongue along my lower lip in response, wanting much more. When he pulled away, his eyes had gone dark, his pupils blown.

“I hear you loud and clear, Ray Kowalski.” _I love you, I love you, I love you._

It felt like my brain had short-circuited and I wasn't in control of my body. I pushed back my chair and got him on his feet, and, before either of us had a chance to get stuck in our own heads again, I led him into the bedroom, breakfast forgotten.

ooOoo

For me, it’s always been hard to wake up. Especially when the room's cold and the bed's too comfortable to get out of.  

I’d discovered it was even more difficult to get out of bed when your best friend, the person you were in love with, was in there beside you. And let me tell you, it felt _good_ waking up lying on his chest under rumpled sheets and blankets that smelled like him. If we didn’t have to get up and get my truck unloaded, I don’t think either of us would've left the room ever again.

“Ray?” Ben shifted under the blankets and groaned, content. “We should get up.”

“We should, but we don’t have to.” I smirked and reached up to kiss him. “Frankly, while I’ve got you so comfortable and satisfied that you probably can’t remember your own name, I wanna hear the rest of the story. We got a little side-tracked last night.”

Fraser smirked. “Very well, Ray. Which story was that?”

“Ellie Rhodes,” I told him, sitting up so my back was against the wall. I immediately regretted it. “Is the window open or is it really that cold?”

Fraser followed suit. “Not as cold as it’s been previously, but yes, the window is open just in case Dief comes back and we’re not at home.”

“The wolf’s still not back?”

“Not yet. Whoever he’s with seems to be taking up a lot of his time.”

“Hmm…anyway, you’re avoiding the subject. What’s the deal with Ellie Rhodes and her adventure that didn’t happen?”

Ben put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close again. I’d already decided this was my favorite place to be. I mean, I wanted to be anywhere Ben was. I’d follow him wherever he asked me to, but being in his bed was my favorite.

“Well, as I said yesterday, Ray, Ellie is only six years old…”

“Right. She wanted to go on an adventure but it didn’t end up being an adventure as she didn’t prep properly.”

“That’s the first part of it. There’s only so much you can do by yourself, especially when you’re six and not willing to ask your parents for help. Or, in her case, her grandmother.”

I could see the similarities immediately. “You sure we’re not talking about you?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “She’d been gone for about fifteen minutes by the time Frieda called me. Luckily, she still had one of Ellie’s socks that she hadn’t had a chance to wash, so she gave it to Dief and he set out to find her.”

“Where was she?”

“She’d built herself a snow cave in the field by the restaurant,” Ben explained. “Frieda lives half a mile away from the restaurant itself, and she brings Ellie to work with her on the days Ellie’s sitter can’t look after her. The fact that Ellie had made the trek on her own was pretty impressive, but she also tried to pack as much as she could in the cave with her. Hat, mittens, snow boots, scarf, even a few snacks.”

“Not bad for six,” I agreed. “So Dief found her and, what? Started barking?”

“Yes, and then he got into the cave with her and lay on her legs until I convinced her to come back to Frieda’s with me. For all Ellie had packed, she’d forgotten her snow pants. She’s so young she would have gotten frostbitten or gone hypothermic quickly.” Ben paused for a moment. “In fact, when I got her into my truck and wrapped her in heating blankets, the first thing she said was that her legs were cold.” 

“Poor kid. Was she okay?”

“Once I got her back to Frieda and into the warm, yes, she was fine. After Ellie apologized for scaring everyone, she explained as best she could that she wanted to go stargazing.” He paused again. “Since she wasn't allowed outside at night without a chaperone, she decided she’d go to the restaurant and wait in the field so that Frieda could join her there when it got dark, and they could watch the stars together.”

“It’s kind of a sweet idea when you think about it,” I said as Ben leaned forward and rotated his arm this way and that. It must have fallen asleep from being in one position for so long. “So, to thank you for bringing her granddaughter back, Frieda won’t let you pay for meals?”

“That’s essentially it, yes.”

“And the Adventure Fund…?”

“Is so Ellie and Frieda can go to see the Northern Lights,” Ben said. “Ellie’s also selling lemonade and cookies at the restaurant to earn a little money. I don’t know if you noticed on the menu, but it says all the money from every glass of lemonade and plate of cookies goes toward her Adventure Fund.”   

I grinned. “The next time we go to Frieda’s for dinner, I’m having lemonade and cookies.”

“Ellie will be thrilled.” Ben leaned over and kissed me. He was less hesitant now, which was great.

A happy bark signaled Dief’s return. As Ben had predicted, he jumped in through the open window and bounded onto the bed, knocking me flat and licking my face.

“Ugh! Dief slobber!” I tried to get him off so I could sit up, while Ben tried not to laugh. “Yeah, it's hilarious, Ben. Will you get the mutt _off_ me?”

“Dief…” Ben recovered enough to get a hand in Dief’s scruff. “Dief, off!” Not that it helped much, as Dief was deaf as a post. “ _Diefenbaker! Off! Now!”_ This time, he pulled Dief back just enough to stop him licking me.

I coughed and spluttered as I threw the blanket back and sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

Fraser addressed Dief. “I understand you’re excited to see Ray again but it’s hardly polite to continue greeting him in such a manner when he’s asked you to stop.”

I shook my head and stood up. “I’m going to wash my face and brush my teeth. Much as I’d like to kiss you again and then keep you in bed the rest of the day, that’s not happening after fur face has been all over me like I was a donut.”

“Well you _are_ delicious, Ray,” Fraser's voice went low and husky.

 _That_ made all the blood in my body rush southward. Startled, I grabbed the dresser to steady myself as I heard Dief hop down and make his way toward the bedroom door.

Fraser's smile told me he was enjoying this. “But I take your meaning,” he continued.

I felt my cheeks grow hot. I guess we were officially a lot more than just buddies at this point. Figuring it was best that I get myself to the bathroom before I jumped him, face washing and tooth brushing be damned, I turned to follow Dief out of the bedroom.

“Oh, uh, Ray?”

I stopped and turned around again to see him with the blanket wrapped around his waist, looking mischievous and hot and bothered all at once.

He grinned. “Put the cap back on the toothpaste when you’re done.”

I threw the pillow at him. The satisfying _whump_ as it hit him in the face and his muffled laughter sustained me while I washed up and brushed my teeth.

Ten minutes later, I went back into the bedroom and locked the door behind me.

We didn't leave the bed all day. 


End file.
